If Operating Systems Ran the Airlines
UNIX Airways
Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to the airport.
They all go out on the runway and put the plane together piece by piece,
arguing non-stop about what kind of plane they are supposed to be building.
Air DOS
Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump on and let
the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then they push again, jump
on again, and so on ...
Mac Airlines
All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents look and
act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions about details, you are
gently but firmly told that you don't need to know, don't want to know, and
everything will be done for you without your ever having to know, so just
shut up.
Windows Air
The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy baggage
check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10 minutes in the
air, the plane explodes with no warning whatsoever.
Windows NT Air
Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses much bigger planes, and takes
out all the other aircraft within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.
Linux Air
Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start their
own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave the runways
themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost of printing the
ticket, but you can also download and print the ticket yourself. When you
board the plane, you are given a seat, four bolts, a wrench and a copy of
the seat-HOWTO.html. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is very
comfortable, the plane leaves and arrives on time without a single problem,
the in-flight meal is wonderful. You try to tell customers of the other
airlines about the great trip, but all they can say is, "You had to do what
with the seat?"
Visitor Comments
The comments stated below are
not necessarily the opinions of Andy Hughes or DarkroomSource or Hughes Computer Consulting.
Windows XP Airlines -
Looks really nice, everybody smiles, but your ticket never arrives in time for take off, and when you call for information about your ticket you are put on hold for 30 minutes. Once the Techie finally picks up the phone he tells you that your problem is being looked into, but you can go to some forums where customers are trying to solve the problem on their own. When you get to the Airport to board the plane you are asked for your password, but the password you entered is wrong. So you try again, and then again, and once more, but you find that you are locked out of the terminal because you tried to enter your password too many times. You will need to contact the Terminal Administrator to have your password emailed to you within 3 business days, but it is Friday. You decide to try a password recovery program supplied by a third-party company, but it downloads a virus and some extra spyware to the terminal. Next thing you know the entire Airline is shutdown due to viruses, and the Microsoft Airlines Techies predict that the Airlines will be back up and running in minimal time... Three weeks later, after your flight has been cancelled and you were refused refund. When called the Microsoft Techies blame the problem on you and not the fact that they left the holes in their own systems. You decide not to sue them because they have the best lawyers in the country.
Anonymously contributed on 2005-05-20 07:33:34
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